THE BEST PART of our relationship was always COMMUNICATION. He also started putting a lot of blame on me for the way he felt..and I knew we did have problems so assumed he swas depressed and maybe if we got marriage consoling things would get solved. Because from those details I can piece together an entire picture of why it happened, therefore would be able to understand or forgive my husband. Im here if you want to talk. i wanted to know what someone else thinks of this situation because its driving me crazy. He went out of town a few days later and I studied his cell phone records. If youre confused, read 11 Undeniable Signs of Cheating Wisdom After the Affair. Because lately all he seams interested in is video games, porn, and what ever he wants to do. I always felt and believed in being faithful to your partner, and always told myself if anyone ever cheated on me I would waste my time with themyet here I am with him because I love him, and feeling miserable and paranoid at times when he is not with me. He asked me if I put it there but I denied it. I even started up smoking. He is so much addict of it that I am pretending that all is fine around me . Thinks we can work on this together and tells me that I can go if I want to. I cant help that . Hi I have been dating with my boyfriend for about 3 years now. I hate to tell you but hes cheating. While he was talking to her he was sitting next to me the whole time telling me he was talking to ppl about baby stuff. May this experience give your life a deeper meaning somehow, and revive your spirit and soul. I have to have clothes that are within my companys dress code. These tips are from Gary Neuman, author ofThe Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It. check his phone log, his emails, text messages. We have a three year old daughter together. Ask casual, open-ended questions and prime your partner to tell you the truth when you're ready to get them to admit they are cheating. I have no place to go, my family lives in Atlanta and I have no money saved. everytime i tell him like i feel like youre having an affair he gets mad n tells me im too much.pls help me =/. Never jump in a car and head to a friends house though, youll be in too much of an emotional state to drive safely. We have been married for 17 years..August will be 18 years and our children are 16, 13 and 12. My husband and i have been together for 6 or 7 years now and married for 3 years. I was really upset because he made me feel as a crazy person at first for even accusing him of cheating. He knew how he hurt me. Living in the same house , sleeping in separate rooms . I lied to him once about having sex with an ex because my ex is black and he had a problem with it. The guys are playing poker more frequently and I have learned recently that it is not always just guys that play there is the wife of one of the guys and on e of her friends. 5. Is it ok that he texts and calls her on a regular basis. We may earn a small commission on purchases made through our links. I didnt think it was a big deal until he got home and said that I only said I love you because I felt she was in the car with him. his answer will be i am disconnected with my feelings!! He likes to run to my family and say cam doing everything wrong i dont have enough sex with him.. Lol sorry i just cant. He offers his arm to me and escorts me, pointing out hazards (be careful) that could snag my heels. Do you trust God or a Higher Power to take care of you, love you, and give you the life you deserve? I will risk sounding rude here but I completely understand your husband. Who would have thought it would have taken getting divorced to wind up in such a situation? He was great, best boyfriend ever after that up until about a week or two ago. I think there must be something more going on, than just your husband having a nightmare. Use the emotional judo of knowing that most affairs burn out and decide for yourself how long you will . Then when he did get home it was jump in shower, well i read that you can tell if man had sex especially in hurry to leave gf, check underwear for late ejectuation. Take comfort in knowing that your husband thinks the world of you. Quite simply, the need to be right at all times is a defense mechanism. The second time I found out (a month later) he was in Iraq. Its destructive. He never admits to much fault in our problems, he blames me for everything. Hes said before he wishes he left his girl friend before asking her to marry him but he wasnt sure if taking that chance of meeting me once would end as he would hope for it to be. To my amazement he had been telling women that the only reason he was on there was to have sex. Specific genes makes men men more likely to cheat. He did not set up the account for a friend- it is for him. What do men say theyre getting from their mistresses that theyre missing at home? I THOUGHT HE REALLY CARED AND WAS INTERESTED IN ME. He most definitely would not be telling you the truth and could be telling you what you want to hear. But Im really pissed cause he hurt my only child, my grown son! When we would go out he stood between us at the table, danced with us both, a stranger wouldnt know if it was me or her that he was married to. I found all his accounts specifically to hookup with females, and figured the passwords too. Your history? He turns me down most times by saying Im too tired, we can do it tomorrow I promise or your hands are cold. But i am confused and i doubt hes lying. Cant find Mr Right if your with Mr Wrong. It only helped for a little while but the images and anger always comes back. And that is a bad relationship. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. They text and call each other on a daily basis. I went through with it anyway. My husband went away on business the same weekend i took our daughters on a shopping trip, but my gut told me different. He says that he loves nothing more than me and they meant NOTHING to him then the pure satisfaction of nailing other woman like a macho man does. So I was really surprised that he wants to stay together, especially when he seems to have another option. Thanks so much for this advice and for responding to all these comments! I want to believe that he didnt sleep with any of these women but deep down I dont trust him at all. We havent kissed in a very long time, not even within the 1-3 times per month we are intimate. He is treating you like garbage. Other than to say this: if youre unhappy in your marriage and your husband wont do anything to help improve the relationship, then you need to leave him. He was telling me I am paranoid, controlling, making him feel paranoid.. while all I wanted was to understand why and how can someone be so cruel and cold. I know hell use this fight as an excuse to come and go ad he pleases for a while. He jokes with me about things, nothing specific, but I just have this feeling that he hides talking to other girls from me. One more indepth than the other. He had the ring on the finger, true, but you have no morales if you cheat with him. I dont know if your husband is cheating, or lying, or both, or neither. Sounds to me like you DO have proof and you are in denial. What does your gut tell you about your husband? he was just looking at her picture for fantasizing and thats all. Mind you he is extremley greedy, and selfish which Im just getting to know this about him. I dont have a good feeling. Either way, you may learn more about their relationship, which will help you move forward. I forgave him after having anothet womens bsby and now this!!! He would only call her at night while he was at work or during the day when I wasnt home. I do seem to remember at some point asking him if he still had feelings for her and he said no, it woukd never have worked or something like that. Move on and leave him behind. after some times he started again to date with someonelse again i told him if you want to come to my flat u should make appointment, he said he can not make appointment to come to her glfriend. Its important to learn the reasons men cheat, because that knowledge will help you determine if you can save your marriage. He has had a phone relationship. my new thing with him is that we are closing our personal facebooks, and i just made one for both of us. If you think your husband is cheating, youre picking up on important subconscious clues. I cant give you marriage advice because I dont know you or your husband! We had small children at the time and I mananged to keep the family together and he changed his ways.Fast forward to 2008. Say thank you? Also we used to be intimate almost every night and its already been 4 days he hasnt touched. Saying he loves me so much, how it kills him that he hurt me the way he did, says soooo incredibly much..but DOES nothing to show it. My last therapist said to me toward the end of one of the last sessions Tom, you already have all the answers.you just need to look within. Which I expected. In my experience, cheaters rarely admit it, even when blatantly caught out. It has to start somewhere. i just want to know the truth. could this been a sign that he is cheating on me. When I ask him if he loves me,he says yes. date but dont get married. hi! 7 Reasons for Relationship Failure, He Cheated on You, But You Cant Stop Loving Him, 8 Ways to Rebuild Trust in Your Husband After Infidelity, Can You Live With a Husband You Dont Trust? Maybe thats why youre having such a hard time moving on, and why you cry a lot. I tell him what Id like, get it for about 2 weeks and then nothing from him until I nag at him or question him on why he isnt present in making this work. He was married, but not happy and left his wife. And what i found; all the naked pictures of her in his email, his IM on fb with more naked pictures of her in my house, pictures at her house saying if her family found out she is done. It may give you fresh insight into your relationship.and yourself. He doesn't mean it. I was devastated because he was checking out her photos one night while I was asleep. Well while I was going through our cell phone records tonight I saw that from the weekend he got up there he has been messaging back and forth over 100 time in two weeks with one particular number. For years, your husband has been living a lie. but i cont beleive bec he always makes fake promises when asked about his fake promises suddenly unknowingly he bluffed like u only making me to put fake promises again started covering his tongue slip. I dont know that I even want to try anymore. I have been put on prozac and seeing a consuller regularly I do have many bad days which cause me to get very isolated and not be there for my kids I want my life back ..but I want it to be better than before..I really hope time heals. I was trying to convey this to my H tonight when he tried making me wrong for having trust issues. Of course your boyfriend wants you and her! we have separated many times and he came back and say he sorry he love me and want to work it out. He is some what awkward in things, but over all, people enjoy his company except they always ask me..why is he so quiet? What alarmed was that he was caring about all these womens lifes and didnt care about mine life. He is very much a go with the flow, take, take, take kind of person but polite in that manner to add to it. He is always helpful when people need it, no questions asked, just does because they need help. Id have to say that motive for infidelity is insecurity and is most commonly as you stated an emotional factor for a woman. I was devastated. A neighbor? I suspect my husband is cheating. Im only 23 years old and Im so lost idk what to do at this point I feel like my love for him is lost somewhere. I sat it all the time, but remember this. I hope that helps. I want to find out if he slept with her but dont know how to go about it. I told him to leave because I did not want to be with him (i grew up with my father cheating on my mother) he started to cry and begged to stay, he said it was stupid and he was just bored that day. Everything was wonderful and I was more than greatful that God had placed such a humble man in my life. He said he had set this site up for his friend who he went to visit a few weeks ago. Hes been aquising me of things and sneaking around. Three kids. He told me he doesnt want that stuff around his child and i told him to stop drinking and as soon as i said that he said show me where to sign my rights away and you can go back to flolrida.. then i cry blah blah blah he gets over but i didnt and he is nice to me. And, if he didnt have a sexual relationship, you feel cheated that your best friend, your husband, your groom would even dare spend time with another woman while you slept in your hotel room especially on your honeymoon. Linda, you dont have to go anywhere to buy a tracker. Tomorrow I will not cry over him ever again, How to Forgive Your Husband for Cheating While He Was Alive, 11 Undeniable Signs of Cheating Wisdom After the Affair, The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It, Is He Lying to You? Stupidly, he had paid for her bag, and when you open up details, passenger name was right there!! I dont want it to be true- because it would hurt me so much more than the suspicion that it may have happened, but I need to be realistic and realise that it may have, and that hurts just as much. Dont HATE the other woman/womenhes your husband who made vows to you..the other women didnt make vows to you. He was there for 2 weeks and in that time I had recieved a facebook message from a girl Id never met before. How long have you been with your boyfriend? He booked a trip for us in London and now a night to the trip, he cheats. Hi, He is a man who is a cheater aka; player. Am I going mental? I know Im not crazy. I believe he loved me but not want you and I think love should be. and sometimes u consider your healthy is safe, just be carefull in this world we are living in the world of epidemic diseases. Ive thought about confronting her, and Ive thought about hiring a private investigator What should I do? 1st clue that there was evidence! Duh. When he seems to be enjoying himself the most, ask him whether or not he's cheated on you. Not sure about his reply but other than their sickening vacation he was home every night, every weekend. To make a long story short, I know that he is still seeing her. Hi Karen! Yes he slept with her and Im sure more than once. Then why wouldnt you want to make sure she not only hears it from you but feels it through your actions? Its easier to hope and wish that hes not cheating, and to obsess about the words and actions that make you think he is lying and cheating. What does that tell you? Ultimately, if you feel my husband acts like he thinks . How did she end up being at the same bowling ally? Ok so I dont know if I need advice or answers maybe both right now my boyfriend or fiance has been going through issues. A good open point of view helps to evaluate the thoughts and feelings of uncertainty in our own minds as women. As I write to you, hes late to come home again.Yes, we usually have sex ones every week or every two weeks, that is only if I initiate it. He came back and I thought everything was fine. You must determine what you will live with and at what cost. Your gut is telling you something, and you need to listen to it. The only time he ever talks to me to holds me is when he wants sex..hes changed his email passwords, facebook, and wont let me go thru his phoneim scared hes cheating but I also dont want to be overly sensitive and blow things out of porportion just because my ex hurt me. I hate to be negative, but most likely your husband has done more than you have evidence for. Your 5 ways to tell if a man is cheating are the stupidest things I have ever seen. All these comments are heart breaking. I was able to read those because I knew his password. Make loving jesters like leaving love notes and sweet text messages! Two of the most important things to remember are that it takes a long time to forgive your husband for cheating, and forgiveness is a daily effort. Even though I can see that he is trying to repair the damage that he has caused, Im so fearful of finding trust again in our relationship. other woman: No I havent but, my boss has already given me those days off. And is always accusing me of messing around. He tries to put it back on me saying Im paranoid. I am now sleeping on the couch. An incident happened this weekend and I wantnto get your opinion on this. He cant remember if they had sex but he feels they made out. I gave my husband sex for a while because I wanted to feel that I could satisfy him like the 20 year old lap dancers. Am I over reacting? Danny still visits my girl when he can, once or twice a month or so and when I speak to him my husband gets very jealous and angry. BIG FLASHING SIGN HERE ChEaTiNg cHeAtInG! Im sorry for what you went through with your husband. Recently he started working with a buddy of his to where he is gone all day from morning till night and recently I found two txt nessages to sum girl daying Im home, the wifey is here then a minute lster another one to her saying sorry baby he tried to tell me he didnt mean it like that then he got mad for me accusing him and before I found those messages he was always accusing me of cheating even though I always have my kids with me. Some he admits to, most he denies but Im sure he is lying. My husband was doing all 5 things starting more fights,which I thought was job stress, and sexually more distant, which I assumed was his diabetes. Doesnt matter. But recently I found out that hes been texting one of his exs and he knows that I dont like her due to some things in the past. To avoid potential loss - their marriage, their kids, their home, their finances, their social standing, etc. Now, if you walked in on him in bed with another woman, then you know hes cheating for sure. We didnt talk for about 2 weeks then he started sending me messages on facebook asking how I was doing and stuff like that. Ive tried to stay with him and not give up on us so soon. if one in every two men cheat, than a guy with two friends, has a 75% chance of having a cheating friend, its just numbers, and it means nothing. what i would advise you to do is to definitely read more about the subject and do your research before you convince yourself that youre just being a paranoind.. You can start by clicking on my nickname in the comment headline (Spouse Cheat) right now, D O N T T A L K T O H I M A B O U T I T ! I love him dearly for that.. Xoxo.. 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